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People of Aldi

A picture I took of the Footwear-less Bogans

So yesterday David and I decided we would go late night shopping at the brand new Aldi in Maroochydore, having never been to one before and hearing rave reviews, I thought “Sure lets go, I might find some Christmas bargains”. As we walked through the automatic doors of the German Supermarket chain from the blistering humidity into a cool environment of neatly stacked shelves, bright lighting and simple decor, I quickly noticed with absolute dismay that the Sunshine Coast had preceded itself being renowned as Queensland’s BOGAN CENTRAL.

Never would I have imagined that wearing shoes would be considered as being “over-dressed”! I tried to ignore the many barefoot individuals, even the AC/DC wife beater singlets and spandex, but what truly took the cake was the staggering amount of evidence I saw that the “Mullet” and “Rat’s Tail” hair styles are back with a vengeance. Swallowing my own bile that was building up and ignoring the increasing need to go home and shower I quickly perused the “bargains”, needless to say I can’t say I was really that impressed. In terms of gifts and department store shopping Aldi really isn’t that great, but a lot of their fresh produce and groceries I believe are comparable if not quite well discounted.

In summation I am quite impressed that Aldi are the first corporation ever to have discovered time travel and provide a wonderful haven to see Neanderthals in action in their natural environment of bargain bin shopping. We could also assume this company has also given us the means to Teleport as well, I seriously felt as though I had just visited Gympie or some such backwater region where using grease is considered hair product and footwear is optional. Needless to say the fashion or choices of clothing are not limited to this one store, as a quick dash for Christmas shopping at the Sunshine Plaza also had me sick to my stomach with heavy makeup, mullets and absolutely vulgar fashion, even to say the word “fashion” associated with the Sunshine Coast seems like an oxymoron.

For some further examples of absolute shopping centre vulgarity please be sure to visit People of Walmart.


Can I Return to Normal Life?

Sitting in the shadow of a wonderful trip abroad, I can’t help but wonder if returning to everyday life in the same country, the same town and the same house is going to at all be possible. Sure I can always just suck it up and learn to deal with it, but I have never been one to just “deal with it” and instead opt to be the change I want to see in my life.

After time in France I was so glad to return to the UK for a short while and hear the English language again, being able to read a menu or street sign and also be rid of those parasites known as gypsies and scammers. My god did those people drive me up the wall – it probably didn’t help that with my backpack and obvious lack of direction I stood out as a tourist and therefore was a prime target. The place I was least looking forward to visiting turned out to be the destination I enjoyed the most – London. Paris was largely a disappointment and I felt the Parisian way of life and city is overly romanticised in other parts of the world, for the true French experience never presented itself and instead we ended up with wallets as dry as Margaret Thatcher’s snatch and very little to show for it.

We absolutely loved Disneyland Paris and spent the better part of three days there, it’s fun every now and again when you can stop being an adult and become a child once again. But unfortunately it was outside the gates of this magical world that our sense of adventure and experience ended. Unless you speak French then getting anywhere with any form of urgency is going to be a hard task, not that I am implying that more of the French should learn English, I mean why should they, it’s not like here in Australia we would try harder to endeavour to learn French so as to accommodate our snail eating friends.

London on the other hand had such a history (macabre mostly) that kept me enthralled and the sights were aplenty with each sending us bounding in a new direction to discover more treasures. The public transport had to be the best in the world, once you got the hang of it, it was the simplest subway and bus system I have ever encountered and made getting from one place to the next very simple indeed.

So now thinking back to the good times had and realising that after a while everything eventually becomes old and a life of mediocrity sets in regardless of where you are, I no less feel that a change is in order and me being me it will be large scale. Would I live in London – Yes, would I live in Singapore – Definitely! So eventually I just think I need to decide what we can do and do a bit more world travel as well and see if anything else takes my fancy.


My Thoughts On Singapore

We arrived in Singapore to a sweltering and humid smack in the face, temperatures I generally don’t care for and would prefer to sit in a freezer, I just love the cold!

Everything in Singapore had it’s place and was simply set out with the tourist in mind. Nothing was too hard and it seemed the locals went out of their way to be extra nice and super helpful. The beads of sweat running down my face were quickly ignored and replaced with sheer wonder and delight at this gorgeous city that tour guides had been noted in saying would only take 45mins to cross from east to west by car. Small it may be but makes up for it’s lack of landmass with utter grandeur.

You don’t need to know a lot about Singapore before you make the journey (we surely didn’t), everything is easily learnt along the way and the local brand of the English language called “Singlish” is easily understood. It certainly did not take us long to discover this was a city horrendously preoccupied with food and beverage, you cannot walk more than a few metres without finding an entire alleyway dedicated to food and just when you thought you had to stroll through a dark lane where in other countries you’d be in for some “surprise sex” in Singapore you’d just find more food, and how very, very good it is.

As they say, when in another country do as the locals do, if you see them lining up at a particular stall, then it wouldn’t come as a surprise that whatever they’re selling is gonna be damn good. For some what also adds a great deal of appeal is the cost, for only $2.00AUD you can find yourself enjoying an enormous meal served with a side of broth or wontons.

Trying new food is not something I’m known for but Singapore inspires an adventurous side in me to “want” to try new things and be a little more daring. Also if you don’t like it very much, it’s not like it cost you an arm and a leg.

The sights aren’t many but, like us you might find yourself going from one food stall to the next until you’re positively ill and beginning to fear your ankles might shatter under your weight. There is a lot more to come to Singapore yet mind you, with the construction of Universal Studios and what the locals are dubbing “party island”, the gorgeously lush and brand new Sentosa is going to be amazing, something I would love to see in a few years time when it’s all done.

So if you want something different and hate the winter months then visit Singapore, pig out, see lots, dine and drink with the locals, you’ll have an amazing time – I know we did and will be back very shortly.


Day One Travel Diary

Gold Coast to Kuala Lumpur

Our trip down to the Gold Coast went without a hitch, for once the Bruce Highway wasn’t up to it’s old tricks by throwing moving vehicles in front of us or random road works. A few wrong turns but in the end we got to our seemingly “pay by the hour” motel, that reeked of hillbillies and conjured up images of mullets and wife beaters. I was willing to withstand this visit to Tacky Land for one night as I knew we would be in a significantly standard of lodgings once we were in Singapore, London and Paris.

As to be expected the flight was boring and non-eventful. We landed in Kuala Lumpur and stayed a short while before we were to fly out to Singapore, whilst there we did the unthinkable – we ate McDonalds! Was so cheap and they had a Spicy Chicken McBurger, was absolutely delicious and for once the advertised spiciness was right on. Oh and in South East Asia they don’t have Diet Coke, here it’s called Coke Light.

We have now arrived at our gorgeous hotel in Singapore and about to walk the streets looking for some authentic cuisine and take a few more happy snaps.